Part 1: Being at odds with your identity (self)
From Yogi Kim to Kim Hajichristou to Mama Kim to ...?
I decided to make this a part of a series about this topic as the article was just getting longer and longer. I felt like I would never release it because I kept adding to it every time I came back to edit it, and more would flow out of me on the topic. So here is one part of this series on Your Identity (Self).
I have been reflecting on this for some time now, and I feel like I have lots to share, so bear with me as I share it in parts over the next few weeks.
I have thought a lot about what to be known as in this digital world, and it has become overwhelming and overthought-out.
It has come to a point where I thought, why not share why it is such a challenge to figure out what to call yourself in this world today? not just in the digital world but actually why it is so hard to acknowledge your true self when we are such complex beings.
The digital world is cool because you can recreate yourself through a brand and almost be known as something completely different.
This experience occurred when I named my Instagram Yogi Hunter when I first moved to Perth in 2016. The Yogi part has stuck with me ever since, and now I’m more known as Yogi Kim.
However, since becoming a Mama, I have again struggled with whether to keep Yogi Kim, as I do not currently teach yoga. I am a full-time Mama, and the future might look different, and I may not return to teaching yoga again… even though I love it.
So why would I want to be known as a Yogi?
After much reflection, my spiritual self has developed so much that I will always be a yoga student.
I always return to the quote, “Yoga is the journey to the self through the self. “
Teaching yoga may come and go as I evolve into my life's work, but teaching yoga specifically forever isn’t something I see myself doing, and that has become clear. The yoga wisdom will always be part of my future work, and I look forward to how I will weave it into my work.
All the knowledge I have gained from teaching at the Yoga Tent Studio and the Care More Community I have created these past years has meant the world to me—so much that I cannot express my gratitude enough. It has shaped me into this other person I never knew I had inside of me.
It is interesting how what you do for a living and branding yourself or your business as that niche is good in one way but bad in another. We are human beings that transform and morph throughout life. But when we showcase that rebranding or becoming our brand, our community responds well (from my experience) or fades away as they don’t relate to your new version of self.
I drafted this article a month ago, and since then, I have been doing an online mother-centric business course to help me find a new path and learn how I want to work online. And it is funny now that I have been honestly debating and struggling with this latest version of myself and how I want to represent it as a brand/business online. This one Live call about Soulful Social Media clarified what I had already been debating.
Being your own personal brand is a must in our fast-paced social world, but for me… it isn’t that simple, as my name has changed so many times already. So how do I represent my OWN NAME when I have shifted and changed my name in so many aspects of my personal life already… never mind my professional or digital life?
This then got me thinking even more, which is when I started diving deeper into the concept of transformation and all the ways I have gone through a significant transformation to small ways that have as well.
Name Identity Shifting
Women hold a unique lifestyle with identity shifts, as women generally change their surname when they marry if they choose to do so. I say it is unique now because we have a choice, but back in the day, we didn’t, and it was a long-standing tradition for women to take on the husband's surname.
Marriage was a business deal among families. A wife was being sold off to breed babies, and taking on the name symbolised that the woman was now part of the new business structure, “family.” In a way, it was viewed as an honour to take on this new family name.
Today, it isn’t viewed that way, and it means different for every woman who chooses to take on or not. But in some cultures today, women do not have a choice like I have had the privilege of doing.
However, I have 3 surnames in my life for various reasons…
My birth surname was Hughes, which I do not associate with as I do not speak with my biological father anymore after my parents divorced when I was 18 years old. I felt at odds with this identity for many years as I felt that it kept me connected to a man I no longer connected with.
My Adopted surname was Williams, which I LOVE and will cherish forever and feel most connected to. My stepfather Fin (Dad) officially adopted me when I was 25 (2010). It was such a fun process to go through when changing my name legally at that point in my life, as so many people didn’t understand why I was getting adopted. Filling out the paperwork to get a new driver’s license and passport, I got odd looks from the lady behind the counter telling her I had just been adopted at age 25! She didn’t get it, and I didn’t care that she didn’t because it meant the world to me to have a father who loved me enough to want to be my dad and go through the legal process of making it official. My photography business still holds my name, Kimberley Williams Photography and I will always keep it. The Williams surname had meaning and connection, so integration felt easy.
My marriage surname is Hajichristou, which I am still trying to get used to even after 5 years of marriage. I find it hard to relate to it as I am not Greek, so the name feels foreign to me. I have also struggled relating to all my names in my life and even my race, being Canadian, Filippino, and now Australian.
This time, changing my name was different as it meant something to Tony. My dad, Fin, never expected me to change my name. I was already looking for a reason to let go of my birth name.
Whilst engaged, I honoured the last 6 months of being a Williams as I knew I would change my marriage as name changing had become part of a right of passage in shifting into a new phase in my life.
But I am not going to lie; I have struggled with this identity shift more than I thought I would. Probably, like most women, they feel this way after getting married and mourning the loss of their previous self, which is why so many don’t bother nowadays. It was sad because I had only been a Williams for 10 years. Hughes, I was for 25 years and Hajichristou for the past 5 years.
I only notice my surname shift when I go to medical appointments, and people can’t say my name or when I make a phone call, and they cannot spell it out when I pronounce it.
The Hajichristou name means everything to me and will always because my husband and children hold the same name, connecting us forever.
But as an individual … integration is a work in progress—I am learning to speak Greek, and one day soon, we will travel to Cyprus. There, I cannot wait to see the culture that my surname comes from, which will anchor me to this culture I am learning about.
Being a mixed-race person is already confusing enough, as I have never even been to the Philippines. It was my 40th birthday wish, and I hope to go next year or so.
But if you think about it…. representing so many cultures takes time to integrate them all. I have come to learn since moving to Australia in 2010 and then becoming a citizen in 2019, and probably now I could say whilst travelling that I am Australian vs Canadian. But I have never acknowledged myself as an Australian yet, either. It still feels weird even tho it is my home and my children are Australian-born.
In conclusion…
EMBRACING ALL THAT YOU ARE before and all that you will be is not easy, but it is possible.
The coolest part about being human is that we can transform and change parts of ourselves as we grow. We can change our names and nationalities, get married to another culture/race, have mixed babies, and be known as something completely different in the digital world. All these identities (versions) of ourselves shape who we are, and it’s our job to learn from each of them so that we keep moving forward with the next evolution of ourselves.
In today's world, it is almost limitless to do whatever our imagination wants us to do.
Understanding how to harness that limitless self by NOT HOLDING back is part of our journey, and in the next part of this series, I will share more.
About my experiences and the lessons I have learnt:
Why is identity shifting important?
Understanding the difference between feeling safe and comfort zone trap
How your identity impacts you NOW
TOP 3 SELF REFLECTION PRACTICE RITUALS
Stay tuned in…for MORE
Yogi Kim 😉
PS. I also think it’s okay to feel at odds with your name (whether its your first name or surname) more on this in the coming articles.
Courageous & thought-provoking piece, Kim....really enjoyed reading it, thank you :)