Chapter 39, and the lessons thus far of my 30s

The Growth Era of my life 20 lessons I have learnt! Can't wait for my 40s!!!

Jul 03, 2024

WHAT I ALWAYS DO VS now...

Most years, I love creating beautiful visions with lots of ambitious goals, but this year isn’t the same.

Birthdays always inspire me to be creative in my intentions and vision for my life. It is a time of deep reflection to see how my life is tracking with my vision or how it possibly has gone off track. As I enter into almost 40 zones, I am content to admit that my life has gone off track many times, and I have failed to complete many goals I have set out to do over the past decade.

But I have learned that whatever was not accomplished or didn’t turn out how I had foreseen wasn’t meant to happen or be. Some projects, goals, and business ideas were just not part of my plan the way I thought they might have been once.

I don’t know if this rings true for you, but I have held on to many goals/ideas/projects for years, thinking this will be the year they happen and they get movement and never get completed. I used to think if something didn’t happen it was because I was lazy or that I had too much on my plate, and in some ways, that might be true for some of the ideas/goals. But I also learned that maybe I was trying to achieve WAY WAY TOO MUCH! Trying so hard to do all these things in one given year when they were meant to take longer. Or maybe it just did not happen because my heart wasn’t truly committed to the idea in the first place, and I was scared to admit I didn’t want to do it anymore.

NOW....

Since becoming a mother, everything has changed as I have settled into this new role in my life. Deciding to be a full-time stay-at-home mother was not an easy decision, as there were many reasons why we decided to go down this path. In the back of my mind, and Tony’s, I was going to work part-time writing and doing things slowly, but reality has hit home. Two boys is A LOT OF WORK, and I do not have time for anything part-time. For new readers, I am raising 2 under 2, and if you don’t understand that term... I didn’t either until a few months ago when I had to take care of 2 screaming, upset babies in the middle of the night and had to figure out how to settle them all on my own. (Also a FIFO wife) Sleep isn’t something I get much of these days.... hence why I don’t write as often as I would like to.

With the understanding that our time is chewed up raising our boys every second, our focus and intentions for our future family have become a priority, as well as how we want to live our lives. So, my focus on individual ambitions has been parked to focus on what is best for our whole family. I know that my passions and personal pursuits are still bubbling away in the background, doing the work within my heart, and when there is space for it to be released, it will. Everything has divine timing and to learning to not force or focus too much on what’s not happening for me personally is important for my overall wellness as a mother.

Embracing seasons in life

has felt more of a relief vs going with yearly goals or what I want to do for my 40th.

Do not get me wrong I have literally been thinking about what I want to do for my 40th for the last year planning for a road trip around Australia in our kombi or a trip to the Philippines as I have never been before.

But after multiple of conversations with Tony about the reality of the season we are in with our new little family it would be a big push and effort to reach that goal.

That’s when it hit home for me that if it feels hard and struggle to get to our goals and we will be straining ourselves to get there maybe it’s time to rethink our goals. If it isn’t going to be fun to get there we are missing the point as richness of a goal is the journey that it takes to get there.

I do believe there are many ways to get to the goal/destination and I have put my thinking cap on and believe we have come up with a totally life changing way to get there. I don’t know how long it will take us… a year or a few months as it truly depends on outside circumstances to help this new goal to be achieved. We have released our wishes out there though and will do our best to keep our wishes in our hearts and will wait for whats next to be presented to us.

TRUST IN DIVINE TIMING you need to have patience.

That’s the thing with seasons they only last a few months and everything in your environment will change. So being flexible is essential to not feeling either disappointed or exhausted by trying to push so hard to get something done in a short period of time.

For everyone, seasons can be different but it’s trying to figure out what season of life you are in and embracing it and adjusting our projects, goals, intentions to suit what is realistic. Letting go of control you might be surprised how much gets done when you stop trying so hard. This is a lesson I’ve learnt many times over.

The dream of Australia Road Trip and a trip to the Philippines is still wishes I want for myself and family to experience but now I don’t have a date associated with them.

Lessons thus far in my 30’s

In reflection of this past birthday celebrations I thought I’d share with you all what I have learnt and discovered in my life.

1. Learn to CARE MORE about yourself

by learning as much about yourself as you can!

you need to understand who you are (your story you have on repeat)
unlearn the things you don’t align with anymore (rewrite your story)
learn new things you do value (add new thing and characters to your story)

2. Don’t be scared to fall in love again…

even if you are heartbroken or disappointed in your 20s. Finding love when you have found yourself is the best gift you can receive in life

3. Educate yourself again on topics that you love

that interest you, that align with your true values

Yoga - YTT
Business -Social Media Marketing, graphic design, web design, finance, etc
Photography - Editing, keeping up with technology
Wellness - Essential Oils, Homeopathy, Tonic Mushrooms
Couple Relationship - to learn ways to have a more loving partnership
Environment - sustainability, zero waste, plastic free, waste, composting

4. Embrace CHANGE

and the uncomfortableness that it creates inside you emotionally, physically and mentally

5. Learn to be confident

as it is a skill (one that I am still working on). I want to create my own YouTube channel, so being in front of a camera is something I need to get confident in!!!

6. Self-sabotage

is constantly occurring more than you realise (especially for women) in your life. It shows up as self-doubt, fear, worry, shame, embarrassment, judgement, and comparison.

7. You are allowed to change your mind on things you once did or thought or believed but now don’t

• I realised I was more spiritual than I understood because I never experienced spirituality until I connected to Yoga and all it has to offer and open you up to

• Eating meat to not eating meat (Plant-based diet)

• Not wanting to be a mother to becoming a mother (Motherhood)

• Decluttering my material possessions and loving all the essential items in my life (Minimalism)

• Reducing the use of plastic and waste more than before (Imperfect Zero Waste and Plastic Free Lifestyle)

8. Build Healthy Relationships of all kinds (friendships, romantic, family)

constantly develop and require attention, love, care, support and kindness. Do not take the people close to you for granted; tell them you appreciate them often as they are the most important people in your life, and they will help shape you as an individual.

• provide counsel to you for your creative ideas and inspire you when you need it

• show up in the hospital when you go there in an emergency because you have broken your back or cook for you because you can’t walk

• they will be there to listen and hear you out when things feel overwhelming and hard

• they will be there to love you and cheer you on when you succeed in your endeavours

• surround yourself with LIKEMINDED PEOPLE so that you can thrive as much as they do!

9. Don’t be afraid to let go of people

who no longer provide you with love, care, support, and kindness

10. Living outside the social norm is wonderful if you choose to

• You may be doing things differently than your friends. You may have to find a new group or community of people who do things the way you do them.

• Learning to say NO and being an advocate for your body and health, even if it means going against a worldwide view

• Learning that saying nothing and staying quiet about your choices and opinions is sometimes wise in the long term versus voicing every choice and opinion you might feel strongly about. People in society (friends) are not always in alignment at the same time as you. Sometimes they might be, and sometimes they might not be, and that’s okay. Honour and love everyone’s choices, even if they are different. It’s not easy, but kindness is key to making different choices and opinions.

11. Asking for help from your community

Find your tribe, a group of people, friends that match your values that will enrich your life because when things get tough, you won’t need to ask for help. They will already be there knocking on your door, offering you help. That is the beauty of a community and why I love my Care More Community so much (Yogi Tribe)
They helped me save the Yoga Tent (Twice)
The mothers’ group helped me understand that I am not alone in the daily changes of raising my children.
12. MONEY
Learn your money story and how it affects you personally (benefiting you and holding you back)
Define financial success for yourself
Figure out how to live your own rich life (read this book)
Start to invest vs just saving money

13. Self Belief vs Ego

you are a lot wiser than you are led to believe. But listening to your heart and not your ego is tricky as the voices in your head blend into one, so learn how to understand the difference between ego and your true intention.

14. LEARN TO MEDITATE

It may be hard to learn to start out with, but in the long run, it is the BEST investment in your MENTAL, PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL health you will ever give yourself for overall wellness and life longevity
It will benefit your life in ways you never realised it could
It is free therapy!!!
Don’t worry about quieting your mind or doing it wrong because you can’t do it. Honestly, just sit still with your thoughts and hear the madness of the mind (that is part of the point). The more you practice, the better you get at turning the volume down on the noise inside the mind. Never turning it off completely isn’t the goal for all of us.
You will feel clearer, not unfocused, and busier in your mind the more you make it a regular practice.

15. Your Energy is WORTH everything

Energy is the same as money - it is an exchange
use it wisely
don’t waste it on energy takers
make sure you are not running on low energy (the same way your phone tells you it’s on low battery. Make sure you notice when you are running on low energy and REST)
do things that make you receive good energy (yoga, meditation, healthy food, healthy friends and family)

16. TIME

you can’t buy it, so make the most out of every single day you live on this planet
life is short… way too short
check out my article on looking at your lifespan and making a plan with your life zoomed WAY out vs year by year to start to have the full impact on how life is super precious

17. Travel is the best way to learn

you learn about yourself
you learn about culture
you learn about what you do and don’t like about life
you learn how privileged your life truly is back home and how you take it for granted
you learn travelling with kids is not the same as travelling before kids (way harder) but still worth doing it for sure but you learn what to do better for the next time

18. Your Mind is the most powerful part of you

it can be a weapon that you unconsciously use against yourself
it can heal your body if you have strong willpower
but it can also make you unwell and keep you in an unhealthy mental state
protect it, take care of it, nurture it, and it will help you live a happy, long life

19. Lead by example

don’t try to change people; inspire people how to live by simply leading by example, and they will follow if it is true in your heart and theirs. Don’t worry about the rest.

20. Be Bold

take risks
be creative
live life on the edge sometimes to experience a new way of being
CARE MORE about what you think vs what others do
live fearlessly as much as humanly possible
love wholeheartedly
be unapologetically yourself

Chapter 39

I am excited for this last year around the sun before 40. Apart from me feeling like it won’t be filled with lots of big things happening, there will be more micro-events within me as a mother and with my family that will be so insignificant to the other side of the world but so significant to our family.

As much as my life has changed so dramatically since becoming a mother, I still feel like that 25-year-old woman travelling around the world with her backpack. So much has changed within my heart, body and mind, impacting me forever. But still, she is there… with a wealth of wisdom and knowledge. And now she has to pack one MASSIVE suitcase for 4 people instead of one backpack. #onebagtravel

Ps. I highly recommend travelling with one bag for a family of four as it was so easy to check only one bag. Everyone had their own colour packing cubes which made it easy to find our stuff and keeping it organised. Total success traveling with essential stuff only.

We shall see what will happen this next year and I will report back in a year when I reread this article and write out the events of this chapter in full.

I love looking at my life as a story. You can write in characters and the environment you want to be in a manifesting script and see if it comes true, or you can write it after events happen in your life. I have done both, and I love both methods.

Have you ever written your future script life as if it has already happened? Let me know in the comments if you would or have; I’d love to know if it came true for you.

Care More With Kim

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